Grace Christian Fellowship: Christian Teachings from 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 7 "The Single Christian"

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1Cor. 7:1-9)

At this point of his letter Paul starts to answer some questions that the Christians in Corinth had wrote to him. One of the biggest issues in Corinth was sex. In fact the whole city was famous for it. Overlooking the city on a hill was a huge temple dedicated to the goddess Aphrodite. Each night the priestesses of the temple would come down into the city to lead the worship. In the case of Aphrodite that worship was sex and the priestesses were actually prostitutes who took the offering money back to the temple. It was impossible to live in Corinth without some degree of sexual temptation. We live in a similar society where we are faced with temptation all the time. Living in that environment the Christians wrote to Paul. It seems that they asked him whether, living where everything having to do with sex was so perverted and sinful, they should just give up sex altogether. Some thought that the most holy life would be if you could separate yourself completely from all contact with the other sex and devote yourself completely to God. Actually, in Japan I am often called a "priest" by those who don’t really know the difference between Protestants and Catholicism. One difference between a pastor and a priest is that Roman Catholic priests still are not allowed to marry. Protestant pastors are free to marry and have families. But aside from church traditions lets see what the Bible says about it.

Paul writes, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." In fact Paul set the example himself, living a celibate life. Bible scholars tell us that most likely Paul at one point was married because otherwise he could not of been a member of the ruling Jewish council. However at the time of this letter Paul was no longer married. We don’t know what happened to his wife, but it is possible that she left him after his radical conversion to Christ. In the church, unfortunately, unmarried people often feel left out. Many feel that it is a curse to be single, and somehow they are being punished by God. They look at the happily married couples around them and are constantly reminded of what they lack. But Paul says, "I wish that all men were even as I myself." What is so great about being single? Why would Paul wish it upon us? In fact Paul even goes so far as to say to those who used to be married, and to those who are widowed that it is better for them to stay single too.

Drop down with me to verse 28, there Paul says that it is not a sin to marry, but "nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you." With marriage, life becomes much more complicated. You can tell the truth of this just by looking at single guys my own age. I look like an old man compared to some of these guys and I am only 33! But I have been married since I was 21 and have two kids. Actually, I have a wife, two kids and two in-laws. Life is a lot more complicated than it was when I was single. Paul says, "He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord – how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world – how he may please his wife." (I Cor. 7:32-33) So singles have a great freedom that married people don’t have to serve God with their whole heart. Of course I want to serve God 100% but each time an opportunity comes up I have to run a mental check first. "Is this going to be ok with Rie?" If I don’t consider how to make her happy then I really will have "trouble in the flesh".

One of the best kept secrets of the missionary world is that a majority of the workers in the most dangerous places in the world are single women. In places that it is impossible to find a married couple to go to, there are single women serving the Lord fearlessly. Singles are able to go at a moment’s notice. Because they are not supporting a family they can move easily to obey the call of the Lord. Singles can be flexible with the money, time, and energy that God has given to them. Singles can venture out in great faith. Often married people are unwilling to tell their spouse about what they think God is telling them, because they are afraid of the reaction they will get. But a single can step out boldly on their own. Because Paul was single he was able to go throughout much of the world of his day preaching the gospel. Because he was single Paul could allow himself to be put in prison for his convictions without having to consider the affect on his wife. Paul could be totally sold-out for God because he did not belong to anybody else.

Marriage basically means that you are not your own anymore. You belong to your spouse and she or he has a great personal stake in what happens to you. My idea of the most fantastic Monday is to disappear from the early morning, be on top of a mountain peak by mid-day, take a dip at a hot-spring at the end of the trail and show up home in the evening to find a happy family, a great meal and a warm bed. That would be just perfect. But if I did that every Monday I would arrive home to find a very unhappy family, no meal at all, and a cold couch. I simply cannot just do what I want to do. I have to consider my wife. Paul explains it like this in verse 3, "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." I can imagine the men listening to Paul saying, "Amen, Amen" to the first part about the husband having authority over his wife’s body. But the really radical thing that Paul is saying is that it goes both ways! Remember, in those days the women had no rights at all. The key to married love is giving into the rights of your spouse and giving up your own rights. It is not demanding your fair share but rendering the affection that your spouse deserves. It is not demanding that I be satisfied, but making sure that my spouse is satisfied to the full. That is what it means to belong to each other. It is wonderful but also incredibly challenging. In fact part of our service to the Lord as married couples is to serve each other, showing to the world what the love of Christ is like. (Eph 5). If we fail at this we open each other to temptation from Satan as well. We need to pray constantly that our intimate lives with our spouses are pleasing to God.

Singles have a great freedom to serve the Lord, but don’t get me wrong, we are all still called to serve. Just because you are married doesn’t give you an excuse not to obey Him, it just means that it is more difficult. Our lives are very short and as we look around us it can’t be long before Jesus comes again. We all must seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. We cannot neglect our families but neither can we be held back by them from serving God either. In the final analysis God has to come first and if your family doesn’t like that then you might lose them. For singles it becomes so much clearer. They can live each day fully for God regardless of what those around them say.

However, there is one problem with the route of being single. As we looked at last week, sexual activity outside of the marriage relationship is sin. It is damaging to all parties involved, not just the couple but also to their families, future partners and possible children. At the same time we are given by God a powerful drive in our bodies to desire sexual attention. This combination of a powerful natural drive on one side and the danger of falling into immorality on the other leads most people to the relative safety of the marriage relationship. The key to the single life is self-control. Paul says that this is actually a gift from God. Because it is a gift not everyone should expect to have it. I can say without a doubt that it is not my gift. I am doing well to control myself even within the marriage relationship. I must admit I struggle with lust in this society that is so morally loose. I would not be able to handle single life without huge amounts of prayer.

In closing, being single has tremendous advantages in serving the Lord. They have a freedom and clarity of purpose that cannot be matched by those who are married. If you are single now. How do you know whether God has called you to be single or if He just wants you to wait a while longer? This is a tough question that is really between you and the Lord and requires prayer. But we can pick up a guideline from today’s passage. If you are burning with passion, then you don’t have the gift of celibacy and you should probably get married. If that is not really a problem for you but you have always thought that you are missing something because everybody else gets married, then you need to see that God has actually given a wonderful gift to you that not many are able to receive. You have freedom in money, time and energy that can all be put to the service of God in incredibly flexible and creative ways.

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