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| Before I was saved, I did not like myself and I tried many things.
I read many books about how I can be a wonderful woman, went to
a fitness club and took some counselling. I tried this and that
all by myself and all by my own power. "I want people to admire
me!!!" If not, I thought I do not have any value to be alive.
I was lonely. Even though I had a boyfriend, nice friends and wonderful
parents, I felt this loneliness. When I felt lonely and did not
know what to do, I told myself that "all my friends feel the
same way and its not just me. Everyone is trying hard." Or
I told myself that I have place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear, so I should be happy and try to be thankful. I tried to tell myself this and think positively, but I could not be positive from my heart. (I saw lots of magazines recomending "positive thinking", but how can we be positive starting from zero?(without God)). I confessed my faith in Jesus Christ last September. And a couple weeks ago, I got baptised. After baptism I felt there is a fountain in my heart. Also I felt God is holding my hand and walking with me. I want to challenge lots of thing now. Just like I jumped from the rocks 6 meters high after my baptism.(actually I have trouble with heights!) I can live freely just like a child. "God is here, so I can be positive from my heart." |